GCMW Exclusive: A letter for parents of homosexual children

21 Oct
GCMW Note: The Groff family is still struggling with the AIDS related death of their son Russell. Mrs. Groff’ wanted to share her story as Christian parent in this rare perspective. Quite often we hear from gay groups like PFLAG how parents must accept their child’s homosexuality, but what of those parents who believe God’s word and want to see their children restored and delivered? They are vilified as hateful, homophobic and out of touch with reality. If you are a Christian parent of a child who is in homosexuality, we encourage you to contact Mrs. Groff (send us an email gcmwatch@yahoo.com and we will forward to her). But for now, here’s her story. 
 
Dear readers of GCM Watch,
 
It is such an extremely important time for people to speak out in TRUTH.  We may not have that freedom very much longer, if the homosexual activists have their way.
 
It is not always easy as some parents of gay children just don’t want to talk about the homosexual lifestyle that’s robbing them of their precious children. Some are like us, they have lost their children to AIDS, from  living this homosexual lifestyle.
 
We are so adamant about telling this story. And in doing that, maybe we can get other parents to speak out about the things that have happened to their children. This could bring a light to what GCM Watch and Pastor Foster is trying to tell people about this lifestyle. It is very destructive, and painful. No matter what anyone tells about the happiness they are living, they are deceiving themselves.
 
The activists sometimes seem to obtain their happiness from causing others pain, because most people are not accepting of their behavior.
 
My son Russell would never have wanted us to suffer as we have had to. It is a nightmare what happened with this cover up of his death.
 
I am not without care for all homosexuals, but some are just beyond my ability to think they will change. I have a hard time dealing with some of the things that have been done to us and our son, but God has given me the strength to write about it, and as long as I can tell the truth, I will do so.
 
Russell’s death left a big hole in our hearts, and this hole can never mend. The least we should have is our son’s remains. He did not want to be buried like this, and I believe in my heart, and from what I found, he had a previous will. We believe this will was made when he was competent, not the one or two days before he died.
 
No burial document was made when he was competent. The papers that may have proved this, was not even considered in the court case. This was a case that we were destined to lose, there has been no justice for us and our son.
 
These things are what makes me have this energy to go on and prove these things.
 
Some parents lose their children through different ways, and none of them being any less of a hurt. This homosexual lifestyle is something one chooses, and is from the influence of the gay society. I never thought my son would take a path of destruction with his life, and he did die from this choice.
 
I don’t know how any parent could condone the behavior of this lifestyle, because as I have said many times, this is telling them a lie. We loved Russell so much, and will never stop grieving for him. It is adding to the pain, when homosexual activists get on the Internet and slander your love for your child. The pain of being attacked by saying we disowned our son, is the ultimate hurt, and they know this.
 
During the time we tried to get Russell out of the lifestyle, he had everyone telling him we did not love him unconditionally, because we would not accept who he was. This was not who he was. This is the brainwashing.  His partner and family used to keep him from being a part of our lives, even though we kept trying.
 
We always saw Russell often until he moved to Baltimore. I have talked about this on my site, and will not go into it again, but this was the way he was taken away from our influence. This was a plan to keep him from his family influence. We kept in touch, until he got sick, and we know now, we could not have done anything any different. We could not accept his lifestyle, but we prayed for him constantly.
 
We believe Russell just gave up when he got sick, because he did not take the anti-viral drugs, he suffered a early, painful death. This haunts us. Because of all the insurance on his life. It seems now like the activists are using this death of our son to further the same sex marriage agenda, and this hurts us tremendously. It was said by his partner his insurance would not pay for the drugs, but when I called them, they said he was covered.
 
Our lawyer did not use the things that would help us win this case, it should have been a sure thing.
During our very expensive court case, we were attacked with all kind of lies. We were told by our attorney to not to address these things during the case, but Russell’s partner Kevin kept on doing anything he wanted on the internet.
 
We just wanted our son’s body. We did not want any money, as his partner did. We just wanted some closure, as we his parents are entitled to. They took everything from us, and this is the only way we can get closure, is to get our son’s remains brought home, and tell the world about this homosexual lifestyle.
 
No matter what anyone says about us, and they will have to answer to the Almighty, one day. We anxiously await the reunion with our son in Heaven. I know Russell will be there, as he loved the Lord, even if he was living in sin, I am sure he made things right before he died. He was a Christian, and I feel he paid the ultimate price for his sin. We all are sinners, but by the Grace of God through Jesus Christ, we are forgiven of our sins.
 
God will take care of what we can’t but he gives us strength to keep on working for his glory.
 
Carolyn Groff
 
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9 Responses to “GCMW Exclusive: A letter for parents of homosexual children”

  1. Carlotta October 21, 2008 at 6:35 pm #

    Mrs. Groff, thank you for such a heartfelt and informative letter!

    I’m praying for you and your husband and the rest of the family as you go through the grief of the loss of your son, and also for the strength to make it through the fires of unjust criticism and slander.

    I will direct many others to your site as well as this letter in hopes that people become truly informed of your situation and become more involved in not allowing same-sex marriages to become legal, and to bring attention to the churches that allow homosexuality. I know parents of homosexual children and I’ll be passing this along to them as well.

    God bless you and your family and stay strong in the TRUTH!

  2. Tony November 2, 2008 at 6:30 am #

    I feel sad for these parents. They are blind to the power of their rejection of their son. Im am CERTAIN there rejection had a blindsiding affect on their son. You would be surprised the power of (religious) and societal rejection has on a persons since of self-worth. I know many gay people who are ‘deviant’ sexually in the literal sense because of the religious-right. The church has been effective in bombarding the minds of gay people to view themselves as flawed in every significant way (Morally, ethically, philosophical) etc.

    Now to be fair and clear, some people are promiscious by blatant choice. Infact, I get into heated debates with other gay men about their inability to transcend there fears to realize that casual sexuality (Sexual Objectificaiton) is the diminishment of both parties engaged in the act.

    But I have heard countless stories like these two persons who’s Christian orthodoxy causes them to ‘disown’ or hate their kids and they kids spiral downward.

  3. Dee November 3, 2008 at 6:30 pm #

    Tony, where did you get the fact that these parents disapproved of their son’s livestyle meant rejection or disowning their son.

    You are very blind to the fact that these people in fact did love their son very much inspite of choices he made that subsequently led to his untimely death.

    As a parent, I can identify with these people. What parent in their right mind would not want to warn their children about destructive choices (yes homosexuality is a destructive CHOICE).

    I do however understand that is part of the gay agenda strategy to automatic equate disapproval of such a degrading lifestyle to also mean that you automatically disown the person or reject them.

    These parents had nothing but love for their son.

  4. Tony November 4, 2008 at 3:13 am #

    Dee erroneously stated”
    I do however understand that is part of the gay agenda strategy to automatic equate disapproval of such a degrading lifestyle to also mean that you automatically disown the person or reject them. ”

    Your paranoia is very clear. There is no such systematic agenda by the “Gay Community”. You ignore my statement. I will make it more palatable for your level of understanding.

    My initial point was merely that parents have awesome power in the lives of their children. Even GROWN Children give significance to the opinions of their parents. Sexuality is such an integral part of a person that to reject or ‘not approve’ of a child because of an orthodox understanding of scripture is still tantamount to rejection of them as a whole. It then produces a downward spiral.

    I take acception to your comments regarding a degrading lifestyle. It is not a degrading lifestyle. The truth however is that many gay people have bought the mainstream Christian propaganda that they are worthless and certainly as you put it, a degraded form of life. I for one am not promiscious, nor a drug-fiend.. but infact am educated and self employed.. I just happened to be Same Gender Loving. I know this forum views my sexuality as errant but my point is merely to draw a specific light to these parents disapproval of their son and the impact that ‘may’ have had to affect his downward spiral. The question is at least for this forum and its orthodox platform is how to LOVE your child even if you view their lifestyle as unacceptable. To convey an immense love for them without the invisible or subconscious transmission of the message you are “a degraded life form”.

  5. Jonathan November 12, 2008 at 8:16 am #

    I truly believe that these parents were blinded by their beliefs and forgot about their son. Being homosexual is not a choice as many heterosexuals say, it is from birth. I am tired of people saying, “ITS A CHOICE!” My question is, are you gay? Have you ever been gay? Why have men that lived with women so many years decided to come out? Being gay is biological.
    My parents are just like this unfortunate young man’s. May he rest in peace. How much this man must’ve suffered! I suffer constantly with my parents who say they love me but always, as Tony said, tell me that I am a degraded life form. Just today I got so frustrated and upset with myself that I thought of suicide. It’s incredible how these people don’t see what they do to their children! If parents were more loving, there would be less gay men in the path of destruction. Not MEN, GAY MEN. Normally, a gay man will spiral downward once their parents have disconnected them emotionally. This is the main reason why many men find comfort in sex partners. I respect the Christian faith and their beliefs but I do not respect the way they put down other cultures, religions, and lifestyles. Being homosexual is not destructive, doing the wrong things IS. Not all gays are promiscious and drug-prone. Many heterosexual people are and are not. Every gay man I know is dedicated to one person or is single and not looking so stop discriminating and hating.

  6. Camille November 12, 2008 at 2:29 pm #

    First of all, homosexuality is a choice. No amount of emotional appeals or “Have you walked in my shoes?” questions will change that. Being gay is not biological.
    Second, do your parents tell you ” You are a degraded life form, you know?” Or do they not agree with the things you choose to do.
    Third, thoughts of suicide do not validate your choice to be a homosexual. What these thoughts reveal is that there is an internal struggle going on. Your soul is at stake and Satan wants to destroy you while you are still in your sins. I would advise you to listen to the voice that is telling you that what you are doing is wrong.
    The only path of destruction that GAY MEN are on is the one they chose for themselves.
    Being homosexual is destructive. Any kind of sexual sin is destructive. It destroys the mind.
    Gays can be upstanding, good citizens in all respects and they will still burn in the lake of fire forever if they do not repent.
    I highly doubt that every gay person you know is dedicated to one person. Every heterosexual person I know is not. Furthermore, the very nature of perversion and lust causes promiscuity. Perversion is never satisfied.

  7. gcmwatch November 12, 2008 at 2:55 pm #

    “[my parents]…tell me that I am a degraded life form”

    Sorry I just flat dont believe that. It sounds like you have a case of overblown case of neurosis.

    “Every gay man I know is dedicated to one person or is single and not looking so stop discriminating and hating.”

    Can you give some hard figures here? Exactly how many men do you know that fit this description? 10? 20? 34?

  8. Ruth South November 14, 2008 at 7:22 pm #

    We are all born sinners until God comes in and completely changes us. This would include the sin of homosexuality. Many people are born with a predisposition to alcohol, homosexualiy, drugs, etc… in other words sin. It does not mean it is not sin, why try to claim Christianity if you choose to live in sin?

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