New website aims to unite former homosexuals

This is good news. Perhaps bad news to those who deny we exist or mock our testimonies of God’s radical, life-changing power.

Christian author and apologist Debbie Thurman (pictured left) has launched a new website called “The Formers” which is described as “a place of fellowship for those who have overcome same-sex attraction,² as well as for strugglers, friends and supporters, the site offers an open forum, news and commentary, answers to tough questions, resources for help, a pastor¹s corner and testimonies from former homosexuals.

“I saw a need to gather those who are fellow overcomers into a meaningful, edifying and active community, Thurman said. Our numbers are greater than people realize. We are the ‘red-headed stepchildren’ of the gay community, feared because we understand it from the inside out and outcasts because we are no longer in bondage to our former brokenness.”

Like most who have waged a personal war with homosexuality — win or lose — Thurman was reluctant for many years to talk about her past struggles. ³That changed when I saw how much homosexuality had impacted the culture and I realized the risks to young people who are being indoctrinated into the gay-is-normal lie,² she said.

We love the word “overcomers”. We’re not exgays because that word does not encapsulate nor explain the awesome work God accomplished in transforming us from sinners to children of God. We, as all other people who have faced sin and been cleansed from it, are overcomers.  Jesus promises all who overcome sin and the world that they will be rewarded for conforming their lives to his image to serve him in the earth. I want to encourage not only those who are overcomers of homosexuality, but all overcomers of sin’s deadly vices, not to give up or give in.

Consider these words from the Scriptures:

1 John 5:4
for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

Revelation 2:11
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes will not be hurt at all by the second death.

Revelation 2:17
He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.

Revelation 2:26
To him who overcomes and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations

Revelation 3:5
He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels.

Revelation 3:12
Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name.

Revelation 3:21
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne.

With all this promised to the overcomer, why would we settle for the temporary “happiness” of sin in this life?

In case you missed it, I am a 18 year overcomer out of homosexuality through the blood of the Lamb which was shed for the remission of my sins and by the word of my testimony. And as long as the grace of God endures, I will be a grateful man.

Don’t forget to visit The Formers

20 thoughts on “New website aims to unite former homosexuals

  1. Thanks for sharing this website Pastor DL!

    It’s timely for me as I’m working on a post that going to highlight testimonies from former gays and your testimony will also be included! (Thanks to that link to your very thorough and powerful testimony!)

    As you know much of that animosity from homosexuals is the thought that their sexual orientation can be changed. That draws their ire so much because they don’t want to believe that being gay can be wrong, let alone be changed.

    Thanks for the info and I’m so thankful that God is using you to provide such a wealth of support for both the homosexual and those of us working to get the truth out to the homosexual as well!

  2. It,s refreshing to see a post as this, thanks Pastor Foster.
    I so like the exchange of words “exgay” to “Overcomers” I think that helps my understanding and makes a connection with us all.
    I will check the site out later when I have more time,thanks
    God bless

  3. I’m a hetrosexual guy who doesn’t agree with the agenda of getting gays to re-form. I think god doesn’t make mistake & it’s fine that some people are attracted to their own gender.

    But that’s neither here nor there, here’s my point:

    If re-forming gays is your agenda, than think about it. Do you really want to get a bunch of “former” homosexauls all together again?

    In your eyes, wouldn’t that be like having no longer drinking alcohols hold meetings in a bar??

    You have to admit that seems curious.

    Tidewater Jackson

  4. PS – sorry for my sloppy post – meant to say:

    In your eyes, wouldn’t that be like having no longer drinking alcoholics holding meetings in a bar??

  5. tidewater lets take your drinking premise and look at it logically.

    If I was a drunk and wanted to stop drinking and there was a group say like Alcoholics Anonymous that would help me stop drinking, would you be against what they were doing?

    (2) If I was a drunk and I said to you that God made me a drunk even though drinking damages the major organs of my body, thus cutting my life short, would you agree with me that drinking was a good thing?

    You asked if former homosexuals would be like alcoholics meeting in bars?

    1. There are plenty of people who go to bars and dont drink.
    2. There are people who go to bars and do drink but only in the bars.
    3. There are people who would drink even if bars didnt exist.

    So which group would you compare former homosexuals to?

    And you didnt say whether you were a Chistian, only a heterosexual so Im not sure if we can talk Bible.

    You said: “In your eyes, wouldn’t that be like having no longer drinking alcoholics holding meetings in a bar??”

    You are implying that when former homosexuals hold meetings it would mean that they will be tempted to have sex with one another. You could be right on the temptation, but temptation isnt a sin. Thats an illogical objection because everyone who is a Christian was previously some type of sinner with some type of sinful issue. The suggestion that because it is our past we would be in danger of committing sin is to destroy one of the foundations of the church which is fellowship and unity. This is accomplised largely through our meetings and personal relationships. Following your premise would there would be no church. And if former homosexuals cant meet or fellowship then no one can meet and fellowship for the same reasons.

    So, your next objection would be…?

  6. While I agree it is a tragedy that other believers would belittle the testimonies of those who feel they are not led to identify themselves as homosexual, it’s equally tragic that you do the same thing in reverse, as evidenced in sweeping generalizations regarding the nature of the spiritual life of those who are Christian and openly gay. This is evidenced in your comments regarding the testimony of Ray Bolz and his wife, assuming that he has “fallen into sin” as opposed to knowing the peace of trusting in his Creator.

    I wonder what the impact would be if glbt believers, whether they consider themselves “out”, “ex”, celibate or closeted, were to focus on the One who unites use, versus each thinking we know exactly what others should be doing and believing. Now THAT would be the beginning of something big.

  7. KJ, calling sin, sin is not belittling. It is truth irregardless of the sin. I fail to see where there are any sweeping generalizations unless you dont accept homosexuality as sin. Your issue then is not in what I say but rather what the Bible declares and what I agree with.

    Whats more, we cannot unite under a lie only the truth.

  8. gmcwatch,

    I admire your dedication to seek those that need spiritual encouragement in overcoming this particular temptation, especially in this age of “tolerance”. I’ve known quite a few homosexuals in my life and none of them were happy. All of the lesbians I know were sexually abused as children. All of them are bitter and angry inside. They put up a good front to those who don’t know them well, but they are not happy people.

    Any sin that holds up hostage will make our life miserable. Only God can set us free.

    I pray for strength, courage, and tenacity for you as you serve in this ministry.

  9. No, having former homosexuals fellowship isn’t like have former alcoholics meet in a bar. Having former homosexuals fellowship in a homosexual strip joint would be like having alcoholics meet in a bar.


  10. gmcwatch – I guess I was going for a little humor. I think Melvin makes the point more precisely than I did.

    Wish you well personally but as a christian and a straight guy, I just don’t believe that god has such a problem with homosexuals. Sure, there are some unhappy gay people, but then there’s a ton of unhappy straight folks as well.

    If going from gay to straight has improved your life, I think that’s fantastic for you. I do worry that others will try to emulate only to remain secretly miserable living a straight life.

    I support the idea of an inclusive society where we encourage both straight and gay couples to treat each other with respect.

    But that’s just me…

    Thanks for allowing me to comment.

    Yours in Christ,

  11. Tidewater
    [quote]I just don’t believe that god has such a problem with homosexuals[/quote]

    That is were you and the word of God disagree.
    It is abomination to God.
    anything abominable; anything greatly disliked or abhorred.a vile, shameful, or detestable action, condition, habit.

    So if someone asked for help would you refuse to give them help, Christ never did.

  12. gcmwatch,

    I apologize for merging this and the previous post; To me they seemed to go hand-in-hand, but I’m no attempting to divert the thread.

    In the article, Ray reports his current relationship with God, but you deny it.

    GCMW: I didnt deny it, I judged it based on what the scriptures say. At the very least Boltz is a backslidden Christian who needs to repent. To wit: when a person returns to sin. Based on Boltz’s on words, there is serious doubt in my mind that he actually was saved and committed to Jesus Christ from the beginning.

    I do not see the difference between that denial and the attacks you rightly decry against those who have felt led to not “come out” in the way Ray felt led. Such insight into the heart is for God alone, but if you wish to claim such insight, there is nothing I can do to change that.

    GCMW: The difference is that one is based on the unrepentant commission of sin while claiming to be a follower of Christ. The other is a declaration of freedom from sin due to the power of God and one’s repentance from that sin.

    I am puzzled by your response to my wondering what would happen if we sought unity in our focus upon “the One who unites us.” You call this “uniting under a lie.” Either I’ve made my meaning unclear, or you’ve chosen to not understand it. Maybe both. Regardless, you seem to assume that the topic of homosexuality is a dividing line between Christians and those merely pretending to be Christian.

    GCMW: No, its not a mere “topic” to be discussed. It a dangerous and destructive parody of the nature of God. Any statement or belief that homosexuality is not a sin is cause for separation, especially when it is clear and consistently declared as such in the scripture. Going against God’s word is rebellion (witchcraft) and we are not to unite with darkness, but rather reject and rebuke it.

    Extending this way of thinking, I would assume that you would believe that a heterosexual Christian believer who opposed gay relationships was faithful, but a heterosexual Christian believer who supported gay relationships would not be faithful. Is one’s view on homosexuality what saves or does not save? If this were the case, then I have to believe that Christ, the One who should unite us, would have made that quite clear.

    GCMW: He did make that clear. Its not about heterosexual Christians. Its about God unchanging standards of sexual behavior.

    Church history is littered with divisions on matters of no eternal consequence, though each time they’ve occurred, the antagonists on all sides of any given topic certainly felt they were engaging in a battle for the “fundamentals” of the faith. Though divisions were brought on by broken mortals unable to see others in the way God sees them, God has used such divisions to bring the Good News of restored relationship between God and His creation to people who would have never heard or seen the news otherwise.

    GCMW: Sure, church history is littered with trivial matters which have caused divisions. This isnt one of them. One’s sexual conduct does have grave eternal consequences. The apostlic council of Jerusalem gave the gentile believers two commands: abstain from sexual immorality and idolatry.

    Now Ray, apparently with the support of his ex-wif, whose business this is, is sharing his faith with those whom he never would have met if he lived his life in the way that others saw fit. Because he is able to identify himself as Christian and “gay”, others assume he cannot know Christ. I’m reminded of Jesus’ disciples telling others to not do things in Jesus’ name because they were “not one of us.” Yet, Jesus tells them, “Whoever is not against us is for us.”

    GCMW: Whenever you teach others to disobey God’s commands, you are not with Christ. Teaching someone that homosexuality is natural and not sinful is in direct contradiction to the word of the Lord.

    I can understand why the organizers and readers of cgmwatch are opposed to the views of those within the household of faith who impugn the way they’ve been led, but is responding in like an emotionally or spiritually healthy way to proceed? I am now past the mid-point of my life, and have spent all of those years in the church. I have yet to see spiritual health or peace come from any source other than the Spirit of God that allows us to trust to the care of our Creator, the faith journeys of others, even when that journey is so different from out own. Can we love others in the face of such differences?

    GCMW: This isnt the “way we’ve been led”. This is the Word of the Lord. Our response is based on its truth, not our personal dislikes. If one’s “journey” is not one on the straight and narrow way, then it is a way that leads to death. I dont see what good it does to respect self destruction just so we can have some sort of contrived peace.

    And before your respond that leaving others in what you think is sin is not love, remember that those who have had Ray’s experience would feel equally passionate about not sharing their story with others.

    GCMW: I’m quite sure they are but I that doesnt change what God has already spoken and confirmed in his Word.

    Peace of Christ

  13. You still assume to know the hearts and mind of others, diminishing the faith walk of others as being “some sort of contrived peace.” Puzzling, given that this is only for God to know and to be able to know.

    My faith journey has caused me to fellowship with many followers of Christ in very diverse traditions, yet this is the first time I’ve encountered the belief that one’s view regarding homosexuality, regardless of one’s own sexuality, saves or damns. This single issue greater than all others? I’m quite sure that if this were the case, the words of Christ would have made that very, very clear.

    Christ-centric faith, brings life and light. Settling for a faith that revolves around anything else (e.g., homosexuality) divides and pales in comparison. Such a view impoverishes the Church and those to whom you would wish to minister. If that does not make sense to you now, I believe in faith, one day it will.

    Peace of Christ

  14. Uh…KJ…are you serious???

    YOU cannot be practicing ANY SIN willfully and enter the Lord’s Kingdom…whether that sin is Adultery, Greed, Raping, Stealing or Homosexuality…..I think you better had read through the New Testament again…you seem to be missing a whole lot!!

  15. nice buzz phrase KJ, “diverse traditions”.

    The bible does not recognize as valid cultures and tradition based on sin or sinful principles in terms of being a true follower of Christ. The church at Corinth is proof of that.

    Just because one claims to follow Christ doesnt change anything.

    And while you are pretending to be traversing the high road with your platitudes about false unity, you fall woefully short of acknowledging that God draws the line between what is holy and unholy. AND, KJ, he is clear about it. Please dont be biblically illiterate.

    And just so you are not confused this is primarily a single issue blog, just like thousands of others in cyberspace.

  16. I commend Debbie Thurman for having the courage and the boldness to let the world know that men and women just like her do exist, especially in this day and time.

    It is imperative as we see the day of the Lord’s return draw near that we stand on God’s Word without compromise or shame.

    The bible says that we overcome by our testimony and the blood of the lamb ….(Rev 12:11)

    DL mentioned his deliverance some 18 years ago. I can witness and do testify as his wife that I have seen the Lord do a tremendous work of healing in his life from a destructive lifestyle of homosexuality.

    I believe that not only should men that have been delivered testify to the goodness of the Lord, the wives of these men have a story to tell as well.

    Wives if you are reading this post …. The gay christian movement is helping to tear down everything that the Word of God says about marriage (The union of one man and one woman). Let’s stand with our husbands and allow him to share his story. So many wife are ashamed for their husbands to share their testimony.

    If you will not allow him to be open about his testimony for your reputation’s sake, you do not honor God and you allow Satan to keep a power over your husband. Now is the time to stand.

    There’s no longer a need to be ashamed.

  17. The responses to my comments are interesting — cynical, with a touch of derision. I’m quite sure that such things do not come from a place of peace, nor do they bring spiritual health to others, so after this comment, I’ll move on.

    My comments are labeled “platitudes” and “buzz words”, confirming to me that your efforts here are not directed toward those who disagree with you, but rather, more of a support group for those who are already in agreement. Nothing particularly wrong with that, I guess, but you should understand the difference.

    I used the term “diverse traditions” to avoid listing the various Christian denominations (Episcopalian, Methodist, Nazarene, Evangelical Free, non-denominational) where I’ve “camped,” now well past the mid-point of my life. The fact that this was twisted to mean more than that strikes me as odd.

    I have not criticized the focus of the website — That mission is quite clear. What I was attempting to decry is a “gospel” that uses views on homosexuality as a “gold standard” of faith, when in truth, Christ is the gold standard. When anything else takes His place, religion has trumped Gospel.

  18. KJ, I think you should just say what you mean. If you are attempting to decry something just say what you mean.

    Its quite apparent that you believe there is some credibility to “glbt believers”. We dont. So please save us all the phony shock and awe at the responses to your rather accusatory comments.

    Like I stated before this is pretty much a single issue blog. We talk about homosexuality and state of the contemporary church here. So coming here to tell us that we shouldnt elevate it above other sins just isnt logical. I just dont get that arguement from people.Plus its quite tiresome. If you choose to move on, then have a nice one.

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