Sexual purity and the saints

How would you define “sexual purity” in the context of living a godly lifestyle? Do you think sexual purity is the complete absence of impure sexual thoughts and actions? Is that even possible for everyone all the time as saved people? Based on what you believe the bible says, how would you describe what it means to be sexually pure to someone who’s got “issues”. This applies to both same and opposite sex issues.  I’m very interested in hearing your comments on this.

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Is complete sexual purity required of believers?
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God understands our weaknesses
its possible, just very difficult
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30 thoughts on “Sexual purity and the saints

  1. Sexual purity is required of ALL believers – Acts 15:29. Outside of marriage there should be no sex – 1Cor 7:1-9. As we see in scripture, marriage is between one man and one woman, there is no question of this.

    God does understand our weaknesses. He understand that we are wicked’ rebellious lawbreakers, Gen 8:21, Jer 17:9-10. Deserving death, everyone of us. That’s why he sent Jesus christ, who paid the price for all who believe; “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life, through Christ”.

    It is possible. How difficult it is dependends on our level of obedience to the Holy Spirit and the Written Word. We have to know what God requires of us. Then we submit to God. We have to be aware of thoughts that comes into our head. Personally, I have to be vigilant, I can feel impure thoughts before I am consumed by them, they are like little butterflies trying to take over. If I encourage them, they can and will take over my thoughts. So, I have to resist them. If I allow them to take root, any thought is possible. The Word is true 2Cor 10:4-5. My desire is not just to be sexually pure, but to please God. I have had to cut ties with someone very dear to me (ex boyfriend), because of impure thoughts. The funny thing is that whenever we talked it was never anything impure, but after we talk I was bombarded with memories. I had to make a decision to cut ties with him. My flesh wanted the gratification of this new “friendship”, but my conscience screamed, no, no, no. Even though I was not physically doing anything, I was re-living an adulterous relationship. My testamony was corrupted, I had to make a choice. I choose God, to the glory of God and not me. Had I not known the requirements of God, His Word, it would not have been possible.

    Yes we are covered under grace, but it is not a licence to commit williful sin – Romans 6. Once we become truly saved, our souls desire is to please God. Therefore the argument of grace is not an issue. Arguing grace to endorse any sinful behavior is a sign that a person is not born again, or at most a very immature
    believer.

    I am confident in this.

  2. In this American pop culture its not easy. When commenting on sexual immorality I am often put under the spotlight by the person I am witnessing to about my own personal choices. Of course my stance which I follow is any sex outside of a man and woman in the Holy Covenant of Marriage is sin because that’s what the Bible says. Be prepared if you have any kind of sexual sin in your life that person who points it out will harden their heart real quick to a Christian not living a life of purity. You can’t preach against a homosexual if your sexually immoral yourself. It still doesn’t excuse fornication (hetero or homo) but expect that question about your own life. You don’t need to get punked by the enemy.

    I don’t see how anyone can make it in this society who is not filled by the Holy Spirit and not get sucked into the culture of corruption. I know would fall prey (of course) if I wasn’t Saved. How can any man or woman leaning on their own understanding not fall against the spiritual wickedness of this age? Impossible I say.

    What I really feel sorry for is the homosexuals or any sinner who visits this site or any other Christian website speaking the unfiltered truth about sin and they still don’t repent. Those individuals are going to incur a worse punishment on Judgment Day because the truth was right in front of their face and they openly rejected it.

  3. rascoe and Robert et al let me add this particular.

    When talking about biblical sexual purity can we separate it into two categories of consideration:

    1. God’s unchanging standard
    2. Humanity’s reality

    Or does the bible not allow for the reality of “dealing with the flesh”?

    Hope I put that clearly.

  4. Pastor Foster, for believers there is just one standard and that’s God’s unchanging standard, nothing else matters. They are His laws, His rules and He expects us to abide by them. He not only gave us the rules, He gave us the Holy Spirit to help us to keep them. All that is required of us is our obedience.

    There is grace, but as believers we have to keep running, we don’t abuse grace. For me, the best way to deal with my flesh, as far as the physical sexual acts are concerned is to “keep running’. Pretending that I am strong enough to stop myself, does not work for me, so I make sure not to put myself into situations that might cause me to yield.

    Then the test came in another way, via the telephone and the internet, my friend lives in Jamaica. I had not spoken to him for 16yrs, I thought it would have been ok to talk to him casually. I was wrong, sexually explicit thoughts began bombarding me, for days at a time. I tried to fight with the Word, that helped some but not totally because I was in contact with him. I had to cut ties with him all together, then it stopped.

    Did I doubt my salvation? Absolutely not, I was in a battle and it affected my testamony, I was not physically doing wrong, but I allowed my mind to go there, so I was guilty. Robert said it right,”you don’t need to get punked by the enemy”

    My daughter believe that I am putting my business out there, and I am. The reason for this is for the homosexuals to understand that they are not the only people with wrong sexual desires. We are all in this mess together, but for Jesus. Gay or straight we MUST submit to God.

  5. Those are some very important points to make rascoe and I agree 100%. I know his standard never changes and I dont want it to. What you described is imo exactly what I asked about.
    1. You know God’s standard but (2) knowing his unchanging standard didnt stop the thoughts you experienced. Obedience is required everytime, but the truth is we dont obey everytime (even if we know we are supposed). The two natures?

    But how do you or can a person apply 1 John 2:1 to the struggle with sexual purity? To me it acknowledges the propensity to sin (thus the struggle) whether in deed or thought and yet gives resolution without condemnation. Because of his standards, sexual purity is the goal, but the struggle to get to the goal is a reality of our humanity even if we are saved.

    And lest someone want to blame the devil they should read James 1:15

  6. Pastor Foster said: Or does the bible not allow for the reality of “dealing with the flesh”?

    Good question. ;^)

    2 Corinthians 5:17
    17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

    Galatians 5:24
    24Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

    Romans 13:14
    14But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

    1 Peter 2:11 (New American Standard Bible)
    11Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.

    The Bible does deal with the reality of the flesh and how to deal with it.

  7. Even in marriage, (hetero included) one can have impure sexual thoughts even towards their wife or partner..the answer is not as simple as “marriage”; “marriage” doesn’t “cure” the real the problem which is the “flesh or referred to as human nature”..of course God understands this..He gaves us weapons to put on each day..and grace and mercy just in case we cave in…..

    We must kill the flesh daily…its a constant battle…and NO one..Christian or not..Holy Ghost or not can achieve “sexual purity”..

    Can anyone name one person in the Bible that was “sexually pure”?

  8. Min. Antwoine Williams said: Can anyone name one person in the Bible that was “sexually pure”?

    Christ.

  9. Robert, got those scriptures and are well aware of them. However, there’s no application offered with them in respect to what I was asking.

    I get that the Word of God clearly articulates God’s standard. But I see a disconnect on the church relaying that standard in a way which teaches an individual to live a sexually pure lifestyle in congruence with the standard.

    Dont get me wrong, I love the word. But dropping scripture with no practical resolution and insight does little good.

    I hope you understand.

  10. I think the answer is knowing who we are, sinners saved by grace. Pretending that there is no sin in me makes me a liar, I know me. I also know most of my weaknesses, (God knows them all). Sex begins in the mind, therefore capturing those unwanted thoughts must be a priority for me. I finally understood what Paul meant when he said….bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of God.

    Pastor Foster, for me personally, the desire is to please God, it is not even the not sinning. I hate to think that I am the cause for reproach to His name,therefore I have to be vigilant. Does my flesh desires that all the time? certainly not. Thank God for the Holy Spirit, He does the work, I mess up.

  11. 1. You know God’s standard but (2) knowing his unchanging standard didnt stop the thoughts you experienced. Obedience is required everytime, but the truth is we dont obey everytime (even if we know we are supposed). The two natures?

    I think because of the fall of man (sin) our very genetics are hardwired to please our flesh. Because what are we if we are not in Christ? A meat sack covered in sin ready to bust the gates of hell wide open. The Bible says we have a multitude of sin because of our nature to disobey.
    Hence the need to have our mind renewed and the Power of God residing within us so that the enemy cannot attack us personally the same way. The Power of the Holy Spirit being diametrically opposed to the Kingdom of Darkness will help in your fight. God does all the hard work because we have been given Power and Authority. When you are changed by Christ you don’t want to go the club shaking your butt or gyrating your crotch. Those actions are unpleasing to you because you know they are displeasing in God’s sight.

    I’m going to get into a little spiritual warfare here. We know demons exist and just like every person is assigned angels so are we assigned demons by satan. Demons cannot make us sin but we can get to the point to where we do listen to that “other” voice. The spiritual influence they are exerting over us at that moment of weakness or hurt and causes us to take action much like Adam and Eve in Eden. We take the bite. We listen to that song or look at those pictures we know are wrong and give the demons room to operate. Then a door opens and they get now you have a spiritual addiction. So get that demon cast out.

    More later. ;^)

  12. Now that I have voted “yes” to the question let me verify that…lol. In being sexually pure some might say its a struggle, some may say its hard or its a fight. For people that are saved it should not be a struggle because the words say that the “ways of a transgressor is hard”. We have transgressed and repented, now we are believing the report of the Lord. Depending on what we entertain, who we listen to or entertain all plants a seed in our lives. Just like there are spiritual seeds we know the devil always has a counterfeit. Some plant, some water, BUT GOD gives the increase. What are you planting in your spirit that causes you to think perverse? What are you entertaining that grows within the mind? These are all questions we should ask daily…in closing the door to the enemy, there really won’t be a footstool for him to have. Though there is the fact that we are still human and subject to fall. Understand there is a difference between a “fall” and a “willful sin”. Some of us are willfully sinning and thinking its ok because we are thinking it and not commiting it. The word says “AS A MAN THINKETH, SO IS HE”…so that will kill the curiousity on that! There is a way unto man that seems right…but in the end is death. We have access and ways to change our thought patterns…everything we need is in the 66 books of the bible…every answer, every problem solver..its up to us to seek it out. God bless you and be encouraged family!

  13. Our struggles with sin will war within our flesh until the blessed day that we shall receive our glorified sinless bodies free from sin, once and for all perfectly conformed to His likeness! Until that day we are to press toward the mark of His high calling and pursuing God’s high and perfect standard of righteousness. It is “blessed” to “mourn” about our sinful ways for we shall one day be comforted. I thank God for His mercy for providing a one-time atonement for sin by sending His Son to complete His salvivfic work on the cross and then allowing us the grace to confess and repent when we stumble. If that wasn’t merciful enough, he provides His Holy Spirit as a guide and comforter, and to Christ continually advocates for us at the right hand of the Father. He knows we need His supernatural and divine power to finish this earthly course and He abundantly provides it! God is a good and gracious God! But we must diligently keep our eyes on Him and pursue righteousness, and continually acknowledge through our confession of sin and repentance that His righteousness is perfect and our righteousness is filthy rags!
    Thank you Pastor, and all of my Brothers and Sisters in Christ for sharing on this topic; it has blessed me!

  14. Hello,

    I’m a lurker here :). This is kind of long, please bear with me.

    To answer the questions:
    How would you define “sexual purity” in the context of living a godly lifestyle?

    Anything that’s pure is clean, unadulterated. In my spare time I draw and paint, and any artist will tell you it is extremely annoying when you happen to accidentally drop a bit of black paint into your yellow or white. It permanently changes the color. The same is true in terms of a godly lifestyle; we’re kidding ourselves when we allow carnal pleasures to dwell in our being. God has called us to be pure, that’s quite obvious in the scriptures. God’s commandments don’t exist as decoration. As new creatures (II Cor. 5:7), we are no longer the same person and thus know the need to follow and seek God. If we take the reins on our thoughts and keep them on God, He will give us peace. It’s a lot easier to live a godly lifestyle when you’re grounded, at ease and you trust in and obey Him (Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 1). Simply put, it is being mindful of who, and Whose, you are.

    Do you think sexual purity is the complete absence of impure sexual thoughts and actions?

    In terms of thoughts, kinda. I wish my answer wasn’t “kinda” but for some, thoughts may creep in. I believe it’s how we deal with them that makes the difference. Being a female and not as visual as my male counterparts, I can see how some may be thrown into a mental tailspin from seeing a sexually explicit billboard, for example. It’s the difference between abandoning or entertaining that thought. This is why we have to be very mindful of the company we keep and the environments we subject ourselves to. I have a friend with Tourette’s Syndrome and his symptoms cause him to blurt words. Most of the time he blurts randomness, but he also blurts cuss words. Sometimes it even happens during church. I began to notice that he usually blurts words he hears first–he sometimes even mimics others word-for-word. This tells me that the cuss words he says likely came from those he hung around with recently. We talked about it and I told him even though I know he can’t help his condition, he can still control what he blurts out. He admitted that he really needs to reevaluate his circle of friends, and I told him though I don’t necessarily repeat everything I hear I needed to as well. We’re both college students, and the college environment is notorious for a lack of morality. Thought we can’t completely help what we hear but it’s important that I don’t willingly subject myself to it like it’s okay.

    In terms of actions, it’s a definite yes. There’s really no excuse for allowing something to become an action, especially since as humans we usually ponder things (i.e. give in to a thought in its entirety) before acting.

    Is that even possible for everyone all the time as saved people?

    Yeah, I think it’s possible. However, for me this would probably mean I would need to keep myself cooped up and away from civilization.

    Forever.

    I don’t think God would tell us to remain pure if it wasn’t possible somehow. Unfortunately for most this somehow would likely lead to some extreme. I think He gave us a mandate of purity via a standard of holiness, God’s commandments, to constantly strive to mimic Jesus. A friend of mine describes it this way: Imagine God standing at one side of a room and a Christian and non-Christian in the middle. The Christian is facing God and trying to walk toward Him yet is stumbling, though making progress; the non-Christian has his back toward God and skipping all the while. I know I will likely stumble over some issue in the future, but know as I fall I will also be seeking God with all my heart. David asked God for a clean heart, and I want the same (Psalm 51).

    Also, can’t forget God provides a way for our escape when we are faced with the desire to give in to our bodies (I Cor. 10:13). The book of James (my favorite, next to Psalms) talks about temptation, sin and sin’s offspring death and what we can do when faced with temptation.

    Based on what you believe the bible says, how would you describe what it means to be sexually pure to someone who’s got “issues”. This applies to both same and opposite sex issues.

    I believe being sexually pure means recognizing your weaknesses and doing everything possible to curb and/or extinguish them (the “and/or” is because even if something mentally plagues us for the rest of our lives, we’re not obligated to physically entertain it). If this means canceling your internet at home and going to public/semi-public places (the library, work) to use the web to avoid the temptation to look at porn, consider doing so. If it means not dating in terms of how society defines dating–jumping from person to person–then don’t. I personally don’t date; I figured it was pointless to do so since I’m not quite seeking marriage at this time. I’ve asked God to show me when I’m ready, then I will oblige to a relationship. In Song of Solomon we’re admonished to not awaken love until we’re ready, for me dating would lead to selfishness and more. As a black, 22-year-old female, and from the inner city at that, I am an oddity. But hey, we are a peculiar people. 😀

    One friend of mine desperately needed a roommate and moved in with a homosexual. No less than about three weeks later his Facebook read that he was sexually attracted to both men and women. It took a few people to really pick his brain about it, but he finally moved home even though he didn’t want to. He had to do the extremem to avoid the temptation of giving in to a filthy lifestyle.

    In a nutshell, I would encourage them to ask as many questions about their issues/behaviors as possible and sincerely seek answers. If they are Christians, I would ask if they think they are stumbling toward God or skipping away and taking advantage of God’s grace.

    bliss

  15. Forgot to add, I voted yes.

    Also I noticed Brother Denziel say it should not be a struggle, that’s an interesting thought. I suppose I would say the spirit me wants to do any and everything to please God, whereas the actual fight occurs when my carnal self wants to do its own thing. Praise God for our impending glorifies bodies.

    -bliss

  16. bliss, thank ya, thank ya! Very good responses and thanks for identifying yourself gender wise. I think I fixed your problem. The length of the comment sends it spam.

    I wondered if the issues of sexual purity are more difficult for Christian men than Christian women urban/rural? Does ethnicity add another degree of difficulty?

    Certainly the bible doesnt make any exceptions for gender, race or location.

    One passage of scripture very central to understanding the requirements of sexual purity is from 1 Thess 4:1-8

    1Finally, brothers, we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. 2For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus.
    3It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that each of you should learn to control his own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

  17. I wondered if the issues of sexual purity are more difficult for Christian men than Christian women urban/rural? Does ethnicity add another degree of difficulty?

    I believe it does add another degree of difficulty, particularly because we are conditioned to behave, react, ect…in certain ways from birth.

    Being a city girl (I go to college in a small town), I’m very used to being bombarded with sex in mainstream, well, everything. From men and boys on the street catcalling to mainstream music, I get it all. I’ve since weaned myself from mainstream music, though I’m not completely away from it (went to a bowling party the other day and they were blasting popular rap and pop songs–very irritating), I try to do my best. This is where urban and rural areas are slowly crawling into the same boat though: I don’t have to worry about catcalls here, but in the age of t.v. and radio anything as possible.

    For me, ethnicity is probably the biggest wrench here. A few years ago I was rushed to the hospital with severe stomach pain. In the emergency room the nurses asked me routine questions, some of which I’m sure I answered but can’t remember, lol. Anyway, they kept asking if I were pregnant, to which I answered “no” every time. It was very frustrating, especially since I knew something was literally deathly wrong with me. They finally realized it was my appendix and was rushed to surgery, where I also has a portion of my intestines removed. Luckily someone recognized my symptoms and prodded them to stop grilling me, or I probably wouldn’t be alive to type this. Simply put, mainstream media sheds a lot of negative light on people of color in general. It doesn’t help that I’m from the “hood.” This leads to a lot of pressure to either disassociate or give up and give in. I’ve done a mixture of both before, but I have to continually tell myself my identity is in Christ. Staying focused is especially a constant struggle because at my age, prudence IS taboo.

    Certainly the bible doesnt make any exceptions for gender, race or location.

    Nope, sure doesn’t! I think this is where my grandmother’s favorite saying applies: “When you know better, you do better.” Because I’m aware of what I’m up against it’s my responsibility to do what’s necessary to stay grounded in God. I really think God appreciates my strength to endure in that regard. It reminds of Paul and his thorn. We don’t know what it was, but it says a lot about how we should deal with our issues.

    In fact, I hold myself even more accountable to try my hardest to stay pure because of my environment. I have three younger siblings who follow my lead. It actually freaks me out a little bit, lol, because I don’t want to mess up on their watch. I’ve gone to far as to abstain from things that are actually okay because I know they aren’t yet mature enough to understand it (I was offered a drink on Christmas Eve and I declined–three times).

    -bliss

  18. Bliss you remind me of my daughter. She is 26yrs college graduate. I’ve asked her to give her input. As young, black women trying to live pure lives your imput makes such a difference. Non christians treat my daughter like she has two heads or just chalk-up her lifestyle to me controlling her. This is so far from the truth….she is born again. My dear young lady I thank God for you. Be blessed my sister

  19. robert and rascoe1,

    I agree with you because the Bible is the absolute final authority in the lives of believers. You gave Biblical advice, not your own opinions on this matter and I thank God for it. I have been blessed by God this day to see 29yrs of life and I am so, extremely joyful that God saved, healed and delivered me from sexual immorality without ever experiencing a pregnancy or getting any STDs. God will deliver and keep us if we want to be kept. All glory and honour to God! Also rascoe1 if I might ask, are you related to the Rascoe family from Eastern, NC because that is my last name also? Excuse me Pastor Foster for getting off topic, lol:) I thank God for you all and may we continue in Christ until the end!

  20. DL, it’s nice to see that most of your readers voted that complete sexual purity IS required of believers, in both thought and actions! Is it possible? Yes! Most of the time? Yes!

    But it does require much purging from our sex-obsessed society to keep the thoughts pure. I really believe men have it worse than women because of the visual aspect of lust. Women don’t have much sense or desire to dress modestly – and that even goes for church-going women. So men have to deal with sexily dressed women in the church as well as everywhere else!

    But as one of your Facebook friends shared on your posting there, we must BRING INTO CAPTIVITY EVERY THOUGHT to the obedience of Christ! That’s found in 2 Corinthians 10:5 which shows our accountability for our thoughts as well as our actions – as it is our thoughts that lead to our actions.

    So how do we do that? We must identify that which makes us weak! The training of the eyes one must do to avoid entertaining the looks of lust. Sometimes it’s just unavoidable to encounter temptation but like many of your posters have commented – it’s the entertaining of those thoughts…the lingering and holding on to tempting thoughts that proceed to sinful actions.

    Now as far as racial makeup is concerned I do believe we Black people have it worse – only because of myths regarding our sexuality. We are no more or less sexual than anyone else but I do believe we are more sexually immoral than most groups. Our music and movies portray women for the most part as sexually loose only available for satisfying the sexual desires of the equally sexually loose man.

    No scientific data to prove what I just said, just observation and strictly my opinion.

  21. Black people in America are being attacked by the enemy like no other ethic group in the Body of Christ.

    Lack of fathers being the #1 issue. 80% of black children today don’t have a father raising them as God intended. I think its around 50% to 60% of the other ethnic groups.

    A lack of a father in the home or a worthless one in the home increases the chance of sexually immoral behavior by your kids exponentially. Among all the other issues like abortion, gangs (father replacement) ect.

  22. Christicentric and Robert, it is not only blacks of America. I am Jamaican and it is bad. I cannot under stand it.

  23. Ummm, @Christocentric, Thanks for your opinion but I believe anglo saxon culture cornered the market on sexual immorality long before African Americans. You are just referencing the overt sexuality, its the covert stuff you have to be careful for and Caucasians corner the market on that. Why do you think sex trafficking is called “white slavery?”, how many black porn stars were there before, say the 70s, who invented the dvd, vhs, betamax, magazines just for the distribution of such products? Perhaps a black person thought it up, and like rock n’ roll, it was stolen. All the nations formerly under European conquest at some point were exploited sexually, the list goes on and on. Muslims allow for polygamy, as did the Asian cultures in the past, but I don’t think race should really be an issue though, whether its lustful thoughts, homosexuality, bestiality – trying to show some progression or levels -its all impure and sin

    To Bro Fosters question, sexual purity is more challenging for men overtly, but they are the stronger sex, right? Yeah they have more testosterone, and women in and outside church dress modest & attractively to down right provocative & tacky come summer, but I think the church and families in general make saying no and being modest the woman’s responsibility, then give too much allowance when men slip up which usually only comes to light when a girl/woman get pregnant. That “boys will be boys mentality”. I’m waiting to see “saved” men make a conscious effort to surround themselves with more modest people and environments whenever possible. I’m not talking about making some grand public declaration like that purpose driven pastor said he’ll never even ride in an elevator alone with a woman, but as has been reflected in some of the comments by Bliss and many saints ‘what’s in you will come out…’ and what is coming out of men in the church these days is sexually immoral and ungodly waaay too often. I’m looking for that difference.

  24. Althought the caveat of ethnic sexual immorality is an interesting one to delve into, lets try not to get to tied up with it at the moment. As I said to bliss the bible doesnt make exceptions for race, gender, location or class status. All believers are instructed to follow the same rule, be of the same mind.

    The issue of sexual purity isnt one for sinners to ponder, although the world has their version of it which is ironically called “safe/safer sex”.

    We all know that its not just about sex, but about sin and there is no such thing as safe sin.

    But the issue of sexual purity for the believer is a challenging one indeed. Consider that God made sex (and it is good), he made us sexual beings (and that’s good too) but he also established parameters for our sexual expression. As already said, it includes both thought and action. What is seen and what is not.

    Yes we can say that it is difficult given the spiritually foreign culture we are in. But holy sexuality is to be lived irregardless. In fact, the true test of one’s holy sexuality is not when there is no challenge, but to be challenged and then reject what is offered. Isreal’s “promised land” was smack dab in tha middle of all manner of open sexual perversion, yet God commanded them “be holy”. We have an inward power now in the Holy Ghost to resist such things, but we must tell the truth, despite all that God has given us: his word, his spirit, his blood, his power…we still fail to meet his standard of purity 100%. That’s called missing the mark.

    I do not subscribe to the doctrine of perfectionism. That is to say, we are incapable of committing sin because of grace, atonement, etc. I can base that on 1 John 1:8-10. Sexual impurity I believe must not become a giant sin, neither can it become a sin we minimize because of this “body of death” we are shackled with. But we must make more effort that we do now to teach and demand that saints stop excusing impure sexuality just because no person can see it. Then, I believe the quality of our holiness will increase greatly. Too often we treat our sexual issues as private matters no one has any business knowing about or holding us accountable about. But not so. Our sexuality is subject to the same scrutiny as every other issue facing us as followers of Christ. One only need look at statistics to know its an area that has a stronghold on the church right now, but the level of teaching and balanced instruction is anemic at best.

  25. Love your last paragraph Pastor. I add to that the Church needs to be a place where someone can openly say what they are struggling with without being condemned. Fact is people struggle with these things but the shame of sexual sins cause people to struggle by themselves.

    James 5:16
    Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

    I would like to commend roscoe1 regarding her situation with an old friend. Her decision to break the relationship was a biblical as any, only someone who is a new creature and who desires to put on Christ in the fulness would do this. The Apostle Paul told Timothy:

    2 Timothy 2:22
    Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

    This to me is no less spiritual than putting on Christ, it is evidence of it actually as I have said.

    but I think the church and families in general make saying no and being modest the woman’s responsibility, then give too much allowance when men slip up which usually only comes to light when a girl/woman get pregnant.

    lapreghiera, not sure I agree with that, atleast that has not been my experience. What is fact is that many times Christian women dont dress properly, its not just about in church either. Tight clothing and cleavage are the norm it seems. Actually, sexual immorality is addressed much more than immodest dressing.

    The men have to be responsible for controllin themselves, likewise the women should be held accountable and be responsible for what they wear. How is it right for men to be in the house of God and stumbling. What about the babe in Christ?

    The body of Christ is one, and we must endeavor to help eachother.

    Bliss, it was a joy to read your comments!

    Blessings!!

  26. @Bliss, stay on fire and sold out to the Lord Jesus Christ. So refreshing to hear from a young lady in this postmodern society that’s striving to walk the narrow path of holiness that so many have wandered from!

  27. @Paul N, what is “properly”, and where can this fact be found? Isn’t that subjective? @Christocentric, what do you know about womens’ sense or desire? I mean the Holy Ghost will tell you ‘that’s just out of order…” but there are many women with full bosoms and backsides that sometimes don’t know how to adequately de-emphasize those areas of their body even though no skin may be showing (i.e. Kelly Price on BET last night). Some do need better education on how to conceal and control, but I feel the female modesty argument is a cop out for men in the church, especially when women outside the church are mo’ nakeder. If that is the case, please do get up and testify, be open as Paul and Bro Foster exhort, let the church mother know you can’t handle knee length skirts, open toe shoes, and knit fabrics.
    You can’t be speaking of saved women, but the marginal Sunday saint, drawn in by the concert or megafest you just had, and your pastor has said “don’t say nothing to them, the Bible say come as you are…they’ll learn eventually…” So you’re sitting in church doing all kinds of ungodly things with sis. lola in your mind and can’t focus on God, cause the pastor won’t let the women dept do their job. And that right there is the big problem today, if the leader is sexually immoral, his flock don’t stand a chance. In Proverbs the King tells his son to avoid the strange woman and keep your honour. If the pastor and mothers aren’t teaching, or Jezebel spirit is just doing her thing, maybe men need to be in a more modest church setting.
    I whole heartedly agree there must be more training and teaching of the saints on keeping sexual purity. It needs to be a part of new member orientation and old member re-orientation, and regular check ups.

  28. lapreghiera, No I dont think “properly” is subjective if you are a Christian woman. The scripture says women should dress modestly and I KNOW that many women who profess Christ do not.

    To me, no short, tight anything and no cleavage showing.

    The modesty arguement is a cop out for who? we are all called to holiness and to help eachother walk this thing out. If I struggle sexually the last place I need to be tempted is in Chucrh, no? If a man in the church is hunting women, we must first question his salvation to begin with. I am not dealing with sexual predators, thats another situation entirely.

    The church has fallen to watching what the world does and if how we are dressed is not as bad, then we thinks its holy. I have had discussions with young women in church and as far as they are concerned they are not going to cover up their bodies for anyone.

    Its a BIG problem and we must do better.

    We are in agreement for the most part.

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