Sex, sexuality and the Christian man

Before any problem can be accurately assessed, its origins must first be reviewed. In this case, God’s original intent (the blueprint) for human sexuality so that we understand what was meant to be as opposed to what it has become.

In the bible, the consummation of creation was man and woman having relational sex.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Sex was not an afterthought. It was a significant part of God’s purpose for man to enjoy within the context of  covenant companionship.

Sex was never intended to evoke feelings of shame or guilt because man knew only good. Until he sinned.

What changed?

Sin created an imbalance and awakened a knowledge of evil man was never intended to have.

Gen 3:22 Then the LORD God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, to know good and evil. And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—

Sin created selfishness

Sin created lust

Sin created perversion

The consequences of rebellion against the plan of God

Man’s sexuality is now broken.  Any and every form of sexual expression (beastiality, homosexuality, pornography, adultery, prostitution, bisexuality, transgenderism, masturbation, rape, pedastry, pedophilia, etc) outside the male-female covenant marriage construct —whether consensual or not— all stem from man’s break with God’s intent for sexual health.

Man lusts for sexual intimacy without covenant. The desires of the flesh are fed by insatiable lust. The Creator’s intent was a  covenant with one person of the opposite gender for life). However a covenant is restrictive to a lustful spirit. Moreover, if a  man is married and yet does not submit his sexuality to Jesus’s lordship, lust will eventually consume him and damage the covenant.

In his book Holy Sex, Pastor Terry Weir contends man is now subjected to over 400 (and counting) sexually transmitted diseases. One 1996 study found that over 50 million people in America carry sexual diseases. Sexual diseases are a built in consequence of sexual sins. While all sin is the same in terms of its eventual sentence (death) not all sins have equal consequences in the now. Most, if not all sexual sins carry immediate consequences: some incurable, some deadly. God will forgive sexual sin, but the consequences may or may not be removed. The best protection is prevention. Prevention is much more effective than a cure.

Man’s sexual crimes have spawned exponential problems. The pressing desire of lust fuels violence and no one is exempt. Sexual crimes committed against men, women, children, the elderly, the infirm and everyone in between, has been one of the most vicious variants of sexual sins.

Restoring sexuality and who can fix what is broken?

Can a man’s broken sexuality be repaired or restored to the Creator’s original plan?  It most certainly can.

This is the word that came to Jeremiah from the LORD : “Go down to the potter’s house, and there I will give you my message.” 3 So I went down to the potter’s house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him.  Then the word of the LORD came to me: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?” declares the LORD. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel. Jer 18:1-5

The issue per se is not just restoring sexuality, but restoring the whole man. While sex and sexuality is an integral part of man, it is just a part. And God does not deal in partial restoration. He reworks, renews and restores the heart and spirit of man until (as Jeremiah states) he sees best. And even when a man is finished on the “potters wheel” he is still not finished. The discipline of the flesh is a mandate for the Christian man. An undisciplined flesh will only lead a man back into the clutches of sinful conduct.  The bible does not teach that the flesh is “saved” rather it must be treated as dead.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.  The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.  The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:5-8

Sanctification is a lifelong journey incorporating discipline, vigilance, caution and continuing submission to the will of God. Nothing is fixed overnight or in a day. God’s process will take you through his own plan to make you whole.

Change your mind about rules and embrace his process of healing your brokenness. The attitude of a broken vessel should be humility, submission, willingness and endurance.

If you are a Christian man and you have been struggling to recover from broken sexuality, get your heart in the right place with God and follow these basic principles:

1. Rediscover the foundations and fundamentals of your faith and what they are intended to accomplish in your life. Holiness, submission, repentance, faithfulness, sanctification will ensure the ground you stand on is solid. Embracing the whys and hows help to stabilize your life and prepare it for sustained progression.

2. Rebuild the breaches in your life using spiritual and relational processes. Reconnect your life with people who are living and maturing in the faith. Weak people with weak morals will only keep you weak.

3. Recreate your desires with intentional strategies. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Its one thing to know God’s standard, its quite another to consistently apply it. You must have more than just a desire to live sexually pure, your desire must conjugate into a holy pragmatism.

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5 thoughts on “Sex, sexuality and the Christian man

  1. Amen!!!
    I’ve marvelled for a long time at the effects of not following just one of GOD’S commands (fornication). The article was filled with the Spirit and needed to assist in renewing ones mind to the Holy path! I particularly like this statement,

    “Reconnect your life with people who are living and maturing in the faith. Weak people with weak morals will only keep you weak.”

    I don’t want to sidebar too much but it is definently hard to find those living and maturing in the faith in both word and deed.

    Again excellent article and add my Amen to the list.

  2. Before I post this I do have aspergers so bear with me if I tend to ramble a little bit.

    So, I’m gay and while I agree with a lot of the principles above in general; I still remain as I am but will not justify it in this post. I’m posting primarily because I have come to a conclusion regarding a site that rival’s this site in intent under a Christian name tag. It is called Gay Christian Network. I am very quick to try the biblical validity of anybody or organization claiming to be Christian, Judaic or something similar. I’m on a pursuit to find wisdom; and I have only found one truly infallible source of wisdom and that is the Bible. Anyone that intends to structure their lives around the word of God in my eyes is on the right path regardless of the level of their discipline or faith. God will work with all of His children in the perfect time to bring them to the greatest possible knowledge of and relationship with Him. So I am open to explore the wisdom people have attained that they wish to share. I thank God every day for the gift of discernment to protect me from the ravenous mouths of false prophets. Anyway; not meaning to rumble…But this site [Gay Christian Network] is a JOKE!!

    Block it from your children’s view with your parental controls or something. This is certainly not the place for a person to seek God and find anything more than a bunch of insecure, hurt people that aren’t seeking God but a community that will help them to feel accepted and uphold their self pity and personal ideals without bringing any question to the source of their pain. I went on this site and found very little scriptural references beyond their “Great Debate” which is inclusive of the two sides of being a gay christian….being allowed to be sexual or practicing abstinence? I think it’s all retarded. They seriously “suspended” me from the website for posting scriptural references. They said it was offensive. The Word of God offensive? Only to those who are not of His fold and thus not given the keys to wisdom or heaven…..I intend on figuring out how to destroy the credibility of this website. It poses to great of a threat to those who are simply confused, feel displaced, or have experienced something to make them question their sexuality.

    They are so patronizing they could easily make someone feel comfortable enough to bring them to the wrong conclusion. Until I or another has found a way to diffuse this site I do believe parents should be warned and they should take precautions to guard younger people from it’s flatter, deceptive content. God bless

  3. I do not see anything in the passages you have quoted about Gods intent for man’s sexuality. You take the words and you twist them to your own moral beliefs and call it the word of God. Is it not a Christian belief that God tells us not to judge others. Are you not passing judgement here. You pass so many judgements in the name of God. God has nothing to do with the judgements you are making. You are doing it all on your own. You have made God out to be angry and vengeful, and you better do as he says or else you will not be let in heaven. God loves all, there are no rules as to what you have to do to get into heaven. We are here to find our path to enlightenment, to complete our soul and become God like. This is what is meant by we are in his image. We are not here to tell everyone do this or God will not love you anymore, as a matter of fact he will make you miserable for all eternity. Would you do that to your children and yet you claim that God will. Love is Love it has no rules as to what you have to Love or be Loved. There are no conditions so you need to stop putting them on people. Try loving your fellow man instead of finding ways to condem him.

  4. @John Huber-You say gcmwatch has twisted scripture to prove his own point???

    Seriously please re-read your comment and see that almost everything you wrote about God was incorrect.

    One thing you did have correct was this “God loves all”

    He loves you enough that He sent His only Son to die for you. John 3:16

    He loves you enough that He tells you the truth through His word. 2 Peter 3:13-18

    Homosexuality is a sin and if you don’t turn from it hell is where the bible says you will go. And we Christians love you enough to tell you the truth. Romans 1:26-27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:9-10

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